quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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