he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
