ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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