i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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