so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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