Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
