that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize