I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
