just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
im on a boat
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