my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I am available for nakedness
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
