we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
