I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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