There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
