I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
