I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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