It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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