its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
