I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
