The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
