I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have feelings that need drinking.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
