At least make sure they are 18
Why
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
