I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
