We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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