We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
