i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Everyone says I win the strip club
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
