The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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