I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
