we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
