On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
