where does the pee come out of this thing
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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