I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
