its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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