Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize