I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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