Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
