yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
