Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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