oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
