You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
