ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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