Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize