I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
