i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
