I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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