i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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