Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
