we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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