He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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