now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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