I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
