Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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