I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
When are your genitals available?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
