What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
