Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
