Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
