Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
