dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
