; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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