I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
