i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
