Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Someone shit on the floor
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
