I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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