im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
